On-call nights, and my 15 year old now stays up 'to keep me company'

teal_rain_889817 Aug 2026

On-call week again. Usually it's quiet, but last night something broke at 1.30 and I was at the dining table with the laptop till nearly 3. At 1.45 my son came out of his room, made chai for both of us, sat across from me with his maths book and stayed till I was done. Sweet, yes. Also class 10, school at 7.40, and he was wrecked all day. Tonight he has already asked whether I'm 'likely to get paged'. I don't want to tell him off for something kind. But he can't be on my on-call schedule. How do I put this to him?

3 comments

cinnamon_sandal_905817 Aug 2026
Our son did a version of this when I had late calls with a US client last year, though in his case I suspect it was half company and half a reason not to sleep. What worked reasonably well was being specific: he could sit up with me on a Friday or Saturday if something came up, never on a school night. It didn't stop completely, but it moved to nights where it cost less.
basil_balcony_169817 Aug 2026
Not a parent yet (soon), so take this lightly. My father had night duty for a few years when I was in school and I used to wait up too. What finally made me stop was him saying it made him more tense, because he kept looking at me instead of his work. 'Go to sleep' never worked on me. 'You're distracting me' did.
- teal_rain_889817 Aug 2026
  Up again tonight as it happens, and he's asleep, so that's something. I like the distracting angle, it's even partly true. Will try it on the next one without making it sound like a complaint.
quiet_hammock_715518 Aug 2026
Could you give him a defined part in it instead of a flat no? For example, if he's still up at 11 he can make the chai, and after that it's lights out whatever the laptop is doing. When I was flying back late, our daughter wanted to wait up, and a small job before a fixed time worked better than refusing outright. I can't say whether it would hold up during exams.