My 13 year old asks 'did anyone die today' when I get home from the ER

cedar_violin_921424 Aug 2026

It started this summer. He waits until I have showered and sat down, then asks. Some days the true answer is yes. He isn't being morbid. I think he has worked out what my job involves and wants to know what my day was like, the way he asks about anyone's day. So far I have mostly said 'it was busy' and changed the subject, and I can see that he notices. I don't want to bring the department home. I also don't want him to learn that hard things are not talked about in our house. How much do other parents in medicine, or in jobs like it, tell a teenager? Is there a sensible middle ground?

1 comment

linen_fern_834124 Aug 2026
My partner is a doctor and our son started asking the same thing at about 13. What we settled on, mostly by trial and error: true but without details. 'Yes, an elderly man, the team tried for a long time.' No ages of children, no injuries, nothing he could picture at night. The surprise was that the true answer seemed to bother him less than the vagueness did. He's 15 now and asks less often, but he still checks on days when one of us comes home looking wrecked.