Colleagues assume I can take every after-school duty because my partner is a doctor

umber_kite_749223 Jun 2026

It came up again in the staff room today. The parent-evening rota for July went round and I'd put myself down for the early slots. A senior colleague said, kindly enough, 'but your partner is a doctor, no? You must have full-time help.' We have a nanny till 6. That's it. No family nearby. My partner's hospital days run late more often than not, so taking over from the nanny at 6 is mine, nearly every day. Kutti is just over a year old and doesn't care whose job is more important. How do you put this at work without sounding like you're complaining, or explaining your whole household to people? I don't mind doing my share of duties. I just need them to finish by 5.30.

2 comments

saffron_violin_390224 Jun 2026
Two doctors in our house, so I've heard every version of this. Being married to a doctor is not help. It's one more unpredictable schedule to plan around. Your colleague is probably picturing a driver, a cook and a mother-in-law. Most of us had none of those when the children were small. Say your time once, plainly, and stop there ❤️
silver_badminton_536825 Jun 2026
I agree with stating the time and not the reasons. 'I can take anything that ends by 5.30' is enough. If the rota is a shared sheet, could you write the time limit next to your name when you sign up? It saves you saying it out loud every term.
- lemon_kettle_306925 Jun 2026
  This is exactly what I do at my school. My name on the duty sheet has '(till 5.15)' after it, every time. Nobody has questioned it since the first month. And yes, my partner is a physician too, and no, that has never once meant help at 6 pm.