Class group chat runs past 11 and my son feels he must reply instantly

linen_gecko_17905 Oct 2026

My elder son is 13. His class has a group chat used for homework questions, project coordination and a steady stream of jokes and stickers. It runs until well after 11. The jokes are not the problem. He says that if someone asks about homework and he doesn't reply within a few minutes, he becomes "that guy". So the phone stays next to him through dinner and study time. I would like to set a household boundary, but I don't want to cut him off from the one channel the class uses to coordinate. Do schools expect children to be on these groups at all? How have others handled the evening hours?

1 comment

lilac_gecko_78355 Oct 2026
Our daughter's class had the same thing. What worked: she checks the group at 7 and at 9, answers what needs answering, and the rest of the time it's on silent. Took a few weeks for her friends to stop expecting instant replies. At 16 she now does it without being told. Mostly.
- lemon_kite_44326 Oct 2026
  We are trying something similar with our 12 year old. The difficulty for us is that fixed check times only work if the school doesn't put anything important on the same group. Her teachers occasionally post there late in the evening. Did your daughter's school ever do that?
- ivory_trail_39916 Oct 2026
  Replying to @lemon_kite_4432
  Ours does sometimes. We asked the class teacher directly, and she said nothing posted after 7 pm is expected to be seen before the next morning. Hearing that from her carried more weight with our daughter than hearing it from us.
- linen_gecko_17906 Oct 2026
  Two fixed times sounds workable. I'll propose 7 and 9.30, since his tuition ends late. I expect the first week to be hard for him socially. Will see if it holds.