15 year old says my shop orders at 11 pm are no different from his group chat

amber_spoon_75917 Oct 2026

rule in our house is phones charge in the hall from 10.30. made it for him when he started staying up late problem is our shop. suppliers and the delivery boys message till almost midnight and i answer from bed. last night he saw me and said if my phone is allowed for work then his is allowed for his class group, because that's where homework gets sorted part of me says it's not the same. part of me knows half of what i'm doing at 11 is not urgent. what have people done that the adults keep to

2 comments

sage_fern_5637 Oct 2026
We moved to one charging point in the hall for everyone, mine included. Lasted three weeks for me, then travel started again. Could the shop messages get one fixed check, say at 10.15, and then the phone goes to the hall with his? Most of mine turned out to be things I could answer in the morning.
bronze_pigeon_34748 Oct 2026
My son made exactly this point at fourteen, and he was right too. What changed things for us was rewriting the rule around its purpose, which was sleep, rather than the phone itself. Each adult then listed any genuine exceptions in advance; in my case, calls when I'm travelling for work. He accepted exceptions that were stated openly. What he objected to was the ones we never mentioned. I can only speak for one teenager, of course, but having the conversation with him rather than at him made a real difference.