Should my mother cover three mornings a week while my partner does a course, or do we hire help?

juniper_badminton_81186 May 2026

My partner has been home with our daughter since she was born and wants to do a short course from June, three mornings a week, about four hours each time. My mother lives with us and has already said she'll manage. I'm not sure she should. She's in her late sixties, our daughter has just started walking and goes for everything, and my mother tends to say yes to things and then struggle quietly. I work hybrid, but my office days don't line up with the course days. Has anyone added a part-time helper for a few mornings alongside a grandparent? Did it help, or did it just give everyone a second person to coordinate?

2 comments

breezy_river_30826 May 2026
In our house my mother looked after my son fully when he was small, because both of us were busy with work. Amma never once said it was hard. Only years later we came to know she was very tired those years. Ask her straight, alone, not in front of everyone. Elders will not say no in front of the family.
- juniper_badminton_81186 May 2026
  That is exactly what I'm worried about. I'll talk to her on her own this weekend, before my partner and I decide anything.
maple_river_75716 May 2026
We have no family here, so we went straight to a part-time helper for three mornings when ours was around a year old. The coordination was less than I expected, as long as one adult is clearly in charge each morning. The trouble starts when two adults are both 'helping' and neither is responsible. If your mother stays involved, agree beforehand which of them handles meals and which handles the nap.