Another mother says my 11 year old swore at their house. She says everyone talks like that

linen_violin_16921 Jul 2026

A friend's mother messaged me yesterday evening, very politely, to say my daughter used a word at their place that they don't allow at home. She didn't say which word. My daughter's version is that she was repeating something from a show and all the girls say it. I teach teenagers, so the words don't shock me. I'm less sure how to handle the other family. Do I apologise on her behalf, ask her to apologise, or just thank the mother and deal with it at home?

3 comments

dusk_paper_44291 Jul 2026
I'd thank the mother first and keep it short. Something like 'thank you for telling me, we've talked about it.' Then have the talk. Whether your daughter apologises herself depends on how she takes it. If she's embarrassed rather than defensive, a short apology from her goes a long way with the other parent. Did she seem embarrassed?
ivory_fern_64762 Jul 2026
Different houses, different rules, and children learn that around this age. No need to make it a crisis. At around 11 my daughter picked up a word from a cousin and used it in front of her Thakuma. The scolding from Thakuma did more than anything we said 🙂 Thank the mother, and tell your daughter that in other people's homes, their rules apply.
mint_pebble_82805 Jul 2026
Had this with the older one in class 6. It stopped once that group of friends moved on to some other phase. I told him I'd heard about it and mostly left it there.
- rose_river_92425 Jul 2026
  Class 5 here and it's just starting. Good to hear it passes.