Back from an evening shift. Her door was shut, like most days now. Every question gets "fine". School, friends, food. Fine. I don't want to run a daily interrogation. I also don't want to hear about something important three months late. What did you actually do that kept your kid coming to you at this age? Specifics please, not "just be available".
Worry first: you'll miss something. I had exactly that fear with my son this year. What has helped a bit is the car. No eye contact, nobody can leave, ten minutes of nothing and then sometimes something comes out. He's 11 though, so maybe it gets harder.
We don't have a regular drive together, she takes the school bus. Did it work when you weren't the one starting the conversation? Or only when you asked?
Replying to @plum_camera_7247
Only when I stayed quiet.
the door thing started with my son at 11 too. i knock and wait now, and it has got me more conversations than walking straight in. "fine" i've accepted as a full sentence.
17 now. still fine. but he talks at 11 pm in the kitchen while eating 😅 so i stay up some nights
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Son is 13 and the same. Two things that helped us: I stopped asking about school at all on weekdays, and I tell him something about my own day first, even something boring. Some days he answers with his own story. Most days not 🤷♀️
With my daughter it peaked around 13 and eased by 15. The closed door by itself wasn't the problem. Her nani took it personally and kept knocking, which made it worse. We kept one thing that was just ours, a Sunday breakfast outside, and that is still where the real conversations happen.
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