Two grandmothers, two name lists, and the baby isn't here yet

umber_coconut_8421 Sept 2026

We're expecting our first in December. We'd quietly agreed on a short name we both like, one that's easy to say in Telugu and English. Then my mother asked the family priest for letters based on the expected nakshatra, and my husband's mother wants the baby to carry her late husband's name in some form. Nobody is fighting yet, but every family call ends with a new suggestion. For those who've been through this, how did you settle on a name without someone feeling left out? Did you tell people your choice before the birth or wait?

2 comments

silver_drum_32831 Sept 2026
we had a name picked too. then the letter from the horoscope didn't match. kept ours as the official name, the one starting with the right letter became the pet name at home. both sides happy-ish
- umber_coconut_8421 Sept 2026
  Happy-ish sounds about right at this point. Did the grandparents end up using the official name, or does everyone call her by the pet name now?
silver_marigold_72261 Sept 2026
the more people you consult the longer the list gets. we told family nothing until the cradle ceremony. no list, no debate. my mother-in-law sulked for a day and then forgot
- umber_coconut_8421 Sept 2026
  That's exactly what my husband wants to do. The problem is my mother has already got the letters from the priest, so that door is open.
- rose_veranda_33231 Sept 2026
  Replying to @umber_coconut_842
  the priest gives letters, not names. there's a lot of room inside a letter
- dusk_paper_44292 Sept 2026
  Replying to @umber_coconut_842
  We had nearly the same situation with my in-laws sixteen years ago. We shortlisted two names starting with the given letter that we were both happy with and let the grandmothers choose between them. They felt consulted, and we didn't end up with a name we disliked. The late grandfather's name went in as the middle name on the certificate, which nobody uses but everyone knows is there.