Three months in, and my partner and I now argue about who's more tired

moss_spoon_356

Neither of us gets more than four hours in a row. I do most of the night because I'm feeding, my partner does the mornings before work calls. And every few days we end up in a stupid argument about whose tiredness counts more. No family nearby to give either of us a break, and I start client-site work in a few weeks, so it's about to get worse. Did anyone find a split that ended the contest over who's more tired? 🤷

2 comments

  • gentle_violin_6447

    Up feeding as I read this, so, timely. We have the same argument, always around 3 am, and it's never really about the tiredness. No answer yet.

    • hazel_veranda_8510

      What worked for us was each of us having one protected stretch that was never interrupted, even if the baby screamed. Mine was 10 to 2, my partner's was 5 to 9. It didn't make us less tired, but the arguments stopped because nobody had to ask.

  • apricot_compass_7834

    Dad here, also awake. We do shifts. My partner takes 9 to 2, I take 2 to 7 with expressed milk. The fights stopped once neither of us was 'helping' the other.

    • moss_spoon_356

      We haven't started a bottle yet, so 2 to 7 is all mine for now. But the 'helping' point landed. My partner says 'I'll help with mornings' and that's exactly the sentence that starts it.

    • quiet_veranda_1652

      Shifts worked for us too, with one change: whoever was off slept in another room with earplugs. Lying next to the baby 'off duty' isn't off duty.

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